Baby Bel Idol

You haven't lived until you've negotiated grocery aisles while your four-year-old pretends to be Sanjaya comforting a bag of Baby Bel cheese.

Spilly enjoys grocery shopping. She likes the fact that there's a captive audience all around her that has to buy groceries and therefore cannot ignore her easily. She enjoys having her mother wheel her around like royalty. She has a lovely time singing dramatic lyrics about the produce around her. (Today, my favourite was a throaty-but-tremulous-kind-of-mournful-Greta-Garboesque-portent-of-dark-times-ahead, "One pepper...two peppers....three peppers...." followed by cackles of laughter because she could tell that her Mom, who was trying to be severe about not bothering other shoppers, was a little amused.)

Today she took a shine to the Baby Bel cheese and wanted to carry it up front with her. She began pretending to be the cheese, who was apparently nervous about riding in a grocery cart. "Oh, I'm just a bag of Baby Bel cheese, and I'm very scared. I've never been in a grocery cart before. There are so many people! What if something happens?" etc. etc. I admit I partially tuned it out, as it did go on and on (as it generally does).

Then the voice changed: "It's okay, little cheese. You don't have to be scared. I'll look after you."

Falsetto: "Oh, who are you? You scared me!"

"I'm Sanjaya Malakar. And I'm here to take care of you."

"Oh, thank you, thank you!"

"And now I'll sing you a song so you won't be scared. 'Girl, you really got me now. You got me so I don't know what I'm doing.'"

At this point, my hubby and I started to lose it. But we couldn't lose Sanjaya or the cheese. The dialogue continued right up to the checkout, through the parking lot, and into the car. Sanjaya and the cheese entertained each other all the way home, as a matter of fact.